As a former coach, I have had to deal with this very issue. What parents have to realize is that we, as coaches, also have their childs best interest as a priority. Team sports helps build trust, integrity, character, and sportsmanship. Learning how to handle adversity is a major maturity factor in all sports. From T-Ball to college. :-) I can't help but wonder if some of these parents ever played a sport themselves...

Jack-

Succinctly and eloquently put! It's a shame that we have gotten to the point at which we have to include "parental guidance" in our athletic handbooks and parent communications.

As an educational administrator for over 25 years, one of the biggest changes I have noticed is the over-involvement (or lack of appropriate parental involvement...) of parents in the lives of their students. The abdication of personal responsibility on the part of both parents and students, and the sense of entitlement that parents/students have, not only in athletics, but also in the academic arena, has gotten out of hand.

Keep fighting the good fight!

David R. Bouck

I a agree that some parents are definately helicopter parents when it comes to sports. I think one problem at the HS level is the change from everyone playing to winning as the main goal. Many patents and kids don't make that transition well, especially at a smaller HS. I have been in a coaching family my whole life and now my oldest is playing at the HS level.

While we expect and direct our child to work hard, don't take play time issues personally, ask coach how to improve, etc.... What do you do when a coach doesn't deal with bad attitudes, never teaches the kids how to improve or play their positions better? A lot of drama would be avoided if some coaches would try to create and expect "team" and explain things to the players. And that needs to start at the middle school level so they are prepared.

We've just finished a rough JV volleyball season with a first time coach and a varsity coach who is hands off with the other teams in his "program". The coach sat at our kitchen at a team dinner and bad-mouthed the AD and a player that was cut, put down the kids she didn't pick for the team and said they should have just given up b/c they weren't going to make it. I was flabbergasted that she would say that to three parents. The kids are down b/c they don't know what to work on to get better for next year, don't know why they didn't play even when they are playing and are afraid to advocate for themselves in case they might get cut next year. So how can a patent be taken seriously about those kinds of concerns without being dismissed as an interfering parent?

Thankfully we have a good softball coach who really works well with the kids and I just get to enjoy watching and letting the kids have fun while working hard. Sports is about building character - but some coaches need to be better role models of good character and developing the best in the kids they work with. If they do that - I focus on my end of teaching my kids those values.

Jack, a well written article on a very timely topic. As a referee, a parent of two now graduated athletes, whether I'm a spectator in the stands or on the field, I've seen first hand parental behavior that is anything but a display of sportsmanship. If we are going to be able to recruit and keep good coaches and referees we have let them do their jobs without undue criticism. Most coaches and referees are not involved for the money they make but because of a love of the game and their desire to help the student athletes. Next time you are at a game, remember the coaches and referees did not come from a professional league. They are working hard to do the best job they can. A little encouragement will go a long way and the positive attitude will help your team.

I think it starts WAY before high school...What has happened to one team winning and one team LOSING?...little leagues arent allowed to keep score, both teams get to win....Kids don't get a ribbon for 1,2,3rd place now- everyone gets a ribbon. By the time these kids get to high school, their parents have coddled them into believing they are the best because they've gotten ribbons all along. Now these kids are in the "big leagues" of high school, and when kids don't play, or their team doesn't win - the parents complain- that their kids didnt play enough, the coaches didnt coach enough, the ref's weren't fair enough... up to this point the parents didnt have to "learn" with their kids the lessons of winning and losing, they always just got to tell them their kids' the best!
I've coached both jr high and high school in the past- and it's painfully obvious as a coach, and more-so as a parent in the stands having to listen to other parents complain and carry on.
I think the parents should be required to take a class on winning and losing- which is SAD!!! the kids take it better than the parents most times anymore.
Fix the kids and parents from 5 yrs+, then by high school we won't see the parents behaving the way they do

Words of truth. I think the other thing that gets in the way is the understanding of the game they are watching. As an official, I can't tell you the amount of times I hear a parent screaming from the bleachers because they want a specific call, but if they would only know the rules of that game. We aren't going to blow the whistle on something that's not a fault. A perfect way for that parent to get involved with their athlete is to talk about the game and the rules.